I just finished running 5 miles in less than perfect conditions. I started my run at around 8:45 am here in my little neighborhood in Kendall. No clouds out, but there was a nice little breeze, so it seemed promising. It was early enough still so that if I ran close enough to any structure that stood upright, I could still get some decent shade. I set off at a brisk pace figuring if i went out fast enough i could finish my run before it got TOO hot. The temperature? 82 degrees, when I started. But according to the weather bureau it felt like 96 degrees outside. Just a couple of days ago I ran in what turned out to be 92 degrees, feeling like 105. So, this was going to be much better, I figured. The first couple of miles were not bad, to tell you the truth. In fact through three and a half miles I felt like I owned the distance. Those last 1.5 miles though were bad. I know how hard i work based on the amount of sweat on my clothes when I finish. After 3 miles, my shorts were only slightly wet and only on the elastic at my waist. By 5 miles, there wasn’t a dry spot on them. In fact, they were so wet, that when I sat down on the very chair I am sitting on, just to catch my breath while replenishing my fluids and reading up on the Marlins bringing up stud Mike Stanton to the majors today while at the same time the Nats pitch their phenom Strasburg, I created a puddle both on my seat and underneath it so large that it could have filled two cups of water. (No I do not need Depends, so keep those jokes to yourselves) The only other time I remember sweating this much was but two days ago when I decided to run the 8 miles on that previously mentioned day, but what should i expect running that far in that heat? I thought today would be at least somewhat better afterwards. Nope. So i guess this is what I’ll be looking forward to for the rest of the summer, huh? So, why put myself through this? After all, I could be working out indoors in the air-conditioning doing round two of P90X, right? And I’m already in shape anyway (relatively speaking), so why then am I, in the words of a friend of mine taking off running only to wind up exactly where I started? (Hence the title of this little blog) Well, let me share a little of my thought process here.
First, why did I start running. I may have written about this before, but I’ll briefly recap. Running a marathon was on my bucket list. A friend of mine wanted to run one and was getting ready to sign up for one and asked me if I’d join him. I said OK, he signed me up, we started training with less time left than we would have liked before the race, and 12 weeks later I had run my first marathon. I don’t think I’ve ever been this succinct so let me revel in this for a moment.
(PAUSE)
So, why did I keep running? For one, even though I had run the marathon, I didn’t feel like I had pushed myself to the limit, and I really needed to find out what my limit was. So I signed up to do the Goofy Marathon and a Half Challenge at Disney the following year. Soon after I signed up, I fell out of my pattern of running regularly. When the race started getting close I realized that if I was going to get through the challenge I needed to start training again, and even though I had little time left to do so I pushed myself to get ready for 39.3 miles over two days. I conquered that as many of you may have read already. But again, I didn’t feel I pushed myself sufficiently. Heck, I barely trained and yet I improved my marathon time even after running a half the day before. So now, I’m pushing. I did the P90X mostly to strengthen my core to get ready for my training for my next marathon in January and for the 185 mile relay I’ll be running 3 weeks before that with eleven teammates. My goal? Knock half an hour off of my marathon time, and ultimately improve my time enough that I can qualify to run the Boston marathon. Truth is, if i can run 5 miles in 45 minuted in this heat, I probably do 5 miles in 40 minutes in 70 degrees. Which means i am going in the right direction. But just the desire to do this isn’t really enough to to do all of this. Heck, if desire alone were enough for people to do things, no one in this world would be overweight, or divorced, or in poverty. Nobody wants to be in these situations yet they are very real, and many of these people REALLY want to be in a different place or situation but aren’t. Why? Because getting out of those situations may put them through very uncomfortable situations that they may not be ready to face. There must be something so incredibly positive about what is presently happening that they can justify the journey to get to the end. I am no different. i don’t think i would keep this up unless there was something about what I was doing that kept me doing it. And there is something. RUNNER’S HIGH!
Yes folks, this really exists. I can’t describe to you the feeling that I had after the end of each of my marathons. It’s such a strong feeling that it beckons me to do it again. Despite the pain that I felt at different moments during the race, the feeling at the end drowned out all the memories of those feelings to the point that i couldn’t remember them afterwards. It was only when I encountered those feelings of pain and anguish during my second marathon that i all of a sudden remembered, “Damn, that’s how I felt… man this sucks!” But less than an hour later, all I recall is thinking that to myself, and not the feeling itself, the final result being so overwhelmingly more vivid in my mind. It is this feeling that drives me. It is a feeling that I feel after most long runs and particularly grueling runs. It’s almost as if you’re body is rewarding you for the effort. And the feeling itself is worth reliving.
One must constantly remind oneself that this really exists. I am not one to really enjoy running in and of itself. there are druggies out there who are afraid of needles but are willing to face them just to get the feeling that follows the injection. Well, I think that my high is safer, and healthier, and not illegal, but I need to go through the uncomfortable moment (the beginning of the run) to get to the high. Now, I don’t get this feeling after every run. Many of my runs aren’t long or taxing enough to produce the feeling. Those runs are necessary to get me to the point where I am ready to do one of my long runs. And so I need to psyche myself out just so that i can convince myself to do these shorter runs (like today’s short, REALLY HOT run). And yet sometimes there is an unexpected payoff (again like today) which put me in such a good mood that I find myself wanting to write about it. One would think that this is sufficient motivation, but even more comes into this.
I know what I am aiming at with all this running, but a little outside help is always useful. And over the last year I have found the merit of running with others. When I started running, getting up to run in the morning was almost impossible. The good thing was that I was running with an early bird that i wasn’t gonna let down, namely the very man who put me up to running the marathon. He’d show up at my house at 6 am, and I had to tell myself that it “wouldn’t be nice” to leave him there after he made the trek, and therefore I would get up to run. Now we never run together for more than 5 minutes (I always left him in the dust, something he swore he preferred), but he got me going, which is all I needed. It wasn’t until shortly before my first marathon that I learned to appreciate running with a partner. A friend of mine that i had reconnected with through Facebook, found out I was running and on a visit to Miami, asked if he could join me on a run. It was so cool having somebody going every step of the way with you while you did a run, somebody who at the same time kept you company, and at the same time inadvertently pushed you while you pushed him to work harder. I was so used to running alone, but now I found a comrade, someone going through the same thing I was going through. He did his first marathon 3 weeks after me (though he had been running for a whole year more than me, and truly is a better runner than I am), and we have taken advantage ever since to run together when the opportunity arises.
There was one drawback to this, of course, that being a need for me to find someone to run with regularly. This is not as easy as it sounds though. In order to have a good running partner, you need to find someone who, a) runs at a pace relatively close to yours, b) runs at the same time as you, and c) has similar running goals to yours. Over the last year and a half I’ve only found two people who fit that description. One was the aforementioned runner who unfortunately lives 250 miles away. The other is someone who also lived far away but also visited often. She too is a good runner who just recently did her first marathon and happens to run a pace very similar to mine. Now both of these running partners have been awesome but consistency running together has been difficult because of distance, and even though my other running partner has since moved down, she has plenty of other things going on in life that make it difficult to run too often together. So, even though i look forward to running with her more as i continue my training, I’m ever on the lookout for someone else to run with. Heck, variety is what brings spice to life isn’t it. Problem is finding someone who fits a, b, and c.
Lately, I have found some that may fit the bill and now that P90X is done and looking to possibly test those waters. One is my cousin’s husband. He told me how he’s interested in getting back into running. Therein lies a problem… he used to run cross country. I’m afraid that “a” might be slightly different for us, but we’ll see. I have another friend who lives but blocks away who says he’ll run with me. The only thing is that I have to call HIM to run. Maybe it’s nitpicky of me, but it’d be nice to get a call to run from time to time also. Finally I have my prodigy, a guy whose never done more than 5k but who wants to do a marathon next year. I’ve been running with him or working out with him twice a week since February (except for the last 4 weeks because of a job he has a deadline for), and am looking forward to helping him get ready for his marathon, but he’s not ready for the long runs yet, so for those I still need to scrounge. So I’m back to having to do some of my long runs alone. Which maybe is a GOOD thing.
One thing I learned about running alone is that you have a lot of time to think about many things. When you live with four kids, you rarely have a moment to yourself, because they are very demanding. My wife and i rarely have time to ourselves (and i definitely have to work on more of that), and that also leaves precious little time to organize your OWN thoughts. And the truth is that many times I am afraid to face my own thoughts. Running forces me to question myself, challenge myself, and to get to know myself. It makes me come to terms with my faults and makes me want to work on strengthening my strengths. So these last few days running alone have been good for me, and though I’m still not looking forward to running alone, I know that it will be good for me. So, another reason to run… get to know thyself!!! Especially if you run without music. Everyone I know runs with an iPod, but me. Maybe the distraction will help me, and even speed me up, but I’m afraid the music will also keep me from my own thoughts, and that won’t be good, I think.
So, I have found that running is healthy, psychologically therapeutic, and like a drug that I need to give me a sense of (false?) happiness. All In know is that when I run regularly, I feel better, and I have a better attitude about things, moreso than just working out (I was a bit cranky during P90X). So I have given myself so many reasons to run. And I am going to work on pushing myself to become a better and better runner. And who knows maybe one of these days I WILL qualify for Boston, only to want to push myself to the next thing… super marathon maybe (50 to 100 mile run), and my other bucket list option – triathlons (though my swimming leaves a lot to be desired, especially after my foray into my brother-in-law’s clubhouse pool where he lives… I’ve seen turtles walk faster than I swam). So, you will continue to see me running only to wind up where I started, and for increasingly longer distances throughout the summer. And if anyone out there wants to join me on my running quest, give me a holler. I’m looking forward to finding more people to run with!! And yes the title is an unabashedly shameless plug for U2 whom I will NOT be seeing in concert in 5 weeks due to Bono’s bad back… maybe when they do come back I’ll miss them because I’ll be in Boston running a marathon 