Let’s go… Slaho!

I hope you have a little time to read if you are about to read this blog. I AM a rambler. And a note, as much as I’ve written, my thoughts here are still incomplete and may seem overly generic in some cases. Realize that this is a small portion of what my feelings led me to write. You’ve been warned!

OK, so I’m hung up on what is going on in my Church for the moment.  Yes, I know that for some this whole Fr. Albert thing is old news, but it is still stuck in my mind.  It’s time to get my thoughts out.  I’m not sure who I’m really angry at right now, but I am upset.  Am I upset at Father Albert, or at his parishioners, or is it at our Archbishop and the Archdiocese of Miami (these guys are having a rough week with me…)?  I guess that it’s a little bit of each.

Where can I begin.  Well, let’s see, a few weeks ago Fr. Albert Cutie, the poster boy for the Catholic Church (and I mean this in a good way) was caught in a compromising situation with a woman.  This is obviously a big deal because he is a Catholic priest and he has taken a vow of celibacy.  This has caused a tremendous upraor, thoughout the Christian (yes, beyond “Catholic”) community, as well as in the Latin community, faith notwithstanding.  Everybody has an opinion on the matter, and in my OWN humble opinion almost everybody is way off base.

Now, before I go on, I’m just letting you know that I will be calling Fr. Cutie, Albert from now on.  It just so happens that I have known the man for 20 years now.  I knew him before he was a priest and I still call him Albert when I am fortunate enough to run into him.  I would like to say I consider him a friend even though we don’t and have never hung out.  And he should know that if he is in need of anything I will be here for him.

Let’s start with (some of) the parishioners of St. Francis de Sales and a large number of his outside supporters.  I have continuously heard and read how Father Albert needs our support right now.  Agreed.  I have heard many of these same people claiming that Albert didn’t do anything wrong.  This is where I have a huge issue.  Their argument is that the church should have changed its views on priest getting married many years ago, and therefore what he did was not wrong.  How IGNORANT can people be?  And how about shallow?  So, what people are saying is that the Church is wrong and Albert is therefore given a pass for his mistake?  Last I remember Albert knew what he was getting into.  He knew that chastity was part of the deal.  he was well aware that he was being required to live a life of celibacy.  He studied for 8 YEARS to be a priest knowing this.  It’s not like someone came up to him the day of his ordination and said, “Oh by the way, you know you can’t have any relationships with women now.”  He full well knew what he was getting himself into.  This is not to say that the teachings or the traditions of the Church on this matter are the right or best way.  I happen to agree with the way thinhgs are done, but can understand how one could see it from the other side.  Unfortunately this is not about the Church right now.  It’s about a choice that a man made… a contract he entered, that he reneged on.  Albert screwed up, and to his defense he admitted to it and publicly.

I’m going to present this scenario in a slightly different way.  I am married, and have been now for 13 1/2 years.  What would happen if I met the perfect woman, the perfect complement to me, someone whom if I would have met many years ago would have hands down been THE ONE.  Does that give me the right to turn my back on the woman that I promised my life to?  NO.  And God forbid if I wound up with said woman, I would be crucified within my circle of close friends, and more importantly I would be looked upon as scum by my family. I knew what I was getting into when I got married and it is my responsibility to not put myself in a situation to be tempted to stray to someone who may currently fill my needs better than my current partner.  Albert’s situation is very similar. 

I know, my argument is flawed, but all would be, our argumets are as human as we are, so there are no PERFECT arguments.  Well, then how about this one.  Albert may have just been a casualty of been a clergy man in the public eye.  I remeber public figures like Jimmy Swaggart and Jim Bakker, both ministers in their own denominations, both winding up in extramarital affairs.  Yes they were married and they strayed nonetheless.  Maybe it’s the fact that they were religious men (something attractive to women), celebrities within their circles (also attractive to women), and rich (you see where I’m going here?) that made them targets to be pursued by women.  Now throw in the fact that Albert is a good-looking guy (has anybody been listening to the women on the news saying how hot he is and how they’d chase him too?), and you could see how he was probably someone who being in the public eye was prone to greater temptation than most other men of the clergy.  He messed up.  Let’s stop making excuses for him.  He was in a tough situation and he let his weakness get the best of him.

AND EVEN SO… let’s say that he did nothing wrong in beginning a relationship with this woman.  If he chose to have sexual relations with her, that would be sin in and of itself.  It is not socially acceptable, but as Catholics we still believe (or should) that sex is sacred within sacred matrimony!  He is NOT married to her and therefore should not be in a sexual relationship with her, especially as a man of the cloth, EVEN if the Church would allow for priests to marry.  PERIOD.  Albert screwed up.

Which gets me to my next point.  WE ALL SCREW UP.  That is what we do.  We are human.  It just so happened that he messed up in public.  Everyone knows he messed up.  Usually when we mess up it is confined to our family, our friends, maybe our boss.  At worst, if it’s a really big screwup (bigger than Albert’s) we may wind up in the public eye in the news FOR 1 DAY.  It just so happens that we are dealing with celebrity here, so everything got blown out of proportion.  AND it’s the Catholic Church so it definitely will get blown up to something bigger than it really is.  I do not want to trivialize this because it is a really big gaffe. But front page news for more than a week here, and still to this day throughout Latin America?  Come on!  The man needs to discern, but he can’t discern what has happened if he can’t be left alone to think.  It’s tough enough to figure out what he has to do in this difficult situation.  He doesn’t need to have this shoved in his face by this entire hemisphere!!  Leave the man alone!!

Now, what I am hopeful for is contrition from Albert.  He has apologized and he seems like he is sorry for what he has done, but it’s tough to tell from someone constantly in the public eye if he is being 100 % up front with us.  I tend to believe that he is.  What does bother me is how he has voiced his atnce on what he believes a priest should be able to do concerning celibacy.  Though he is quick to say that he is supportive of the church’s current stance, his statement that he believes that it should be a priest’s choice as to whether he should marry or not is misplaced.  I know of priests who differ from the Church on a number of issues from contraception to sexuality, but I believe that as a representative of the Church, in public one must speak the Church’s position.  His statement worries me mostly because of the influx of people who are now coming out and calling to him to leave the Church and join some other denomination. I don’t know where Albert’s head is at, but this can become an incredible temptation for a man torn between two loves… a woman and his Church. 

Hopefully, Albert will choose to stay with us as part of the catholic Church, though I’ve heard rumblings otherwise.  Obviously what I hear are rumors and probably unfounded ones, but i still don’t like hearing them.  I think that it is important that if he truly believes that it should be up to the priest to decide whether to live a celibate life or not, that he should work to do that quietly and within the Church.  Centuries ago Martin Luther made the mistake of making his gripes public, though they may have been founded in truth.  this led to his excommunication, and eventually to the splintering of the catholic Church as we know it.  This was definitely not his intention, as the fact that he eventually was readmitted to the Cathoilc faith and that he died Catholic would testify.  But the damage was done.  We lost multitudes of people and eventually this began a separation from the Church which leaves us today with almost as many denominations of Christianity as there are Catholics in this country! (Forgive me if I am exaggerating a bit, but you get my point) Now, I am totally for ecumenism, and i believe that my Christian brothers are themselves walking the correct path of Christ, but leaving the Catholic Church is not like changing from being a Baptist to being a Methodist.  It means saying that we are denying the reality of the sacraments.  It is saying that the Eucharist is not truly the Body of Christ.  It is saying that true forgiveness does not come through the sacrament of Reconciliation.  It says too many things, and for him to leave the Church, it would lead people to leave the Church for the wrong reasons.  As it is, it disturbs me that people would leave the Church to follow a MAN.  The only one we should be following is CHRIST, who is made present THROUGH man.  Yet, I’ve heard people saying they would do just that, go where Fr. Albert goes.  This could greatly affect the perception of the Church of an entire culture.  I pray that Albert sees this before he even considers going somewhere else so that he can (to use a cliche) have his cake and eat it too.

King David once screwed up also in such great fashion when he sent Uriah to die so that we can take Bathsheba as his wife.  Albert’s mistake is much less grave than this, but what followed is what strikes me.  When confronted by Nathan about his mistake, he immediately upon realizing his sin, begged God for forgiveness, and it was granted to him.  And to this day he is still considered the greatest of the Kings of Israel.  And he was still worthy of being the one from whose lineage the Christ would come.  As David was forgiven, so will Albert be forgiven if he is truly sorry.  And so should we forgive him.  And so should the Church and those in charge of it.  This leads me to my last issue.

It seems to me that the Archbishop was harsher in his tone with Albert than he was with many of the priests who have been accused or have been discovered to be sexual predators.  It seems to me that the second is a graver sin because of the lack of consent of one of the individuals involved in particualr when a minor is invloved.  Yet his tone was more direct and strict in my opinion than that used with these other priests.  And all this before Albert was even given the opportunity to so much as meet with his superior, or comment on his own situation.  And once Albert came forward and apologized and said that he was sorry, not once did the Church step forward and publicly accept his apology.  I am not saying that he merits to be reinserted into his previous capacities as pastor or head of Radio Peace, but at least acknolodge the attempt at contrition.  That is after all what Jesus would do, isn’t it.  If David was forgiven and given the opportunity to continue to lead, the so should Father Alberto Cutie, maybe not right away but once he has shown that he had made a mistake and paid the price for it.  But from my experience, it appears as when a priest messes up, once everything settles, he is reappointed somewhere where he can never help or contribute the community he once knew. So to our hierarchy, I shout out. Practice what you preach! What Would Jesus Do?

Now this takes me back to Albert once again. Though he has apologized for hurting his Catholic family, the one thing he has never done is admitted he did anything wrong. The closest he came in the footage I’ve seen (I’m sure there’s plenty more that I haven’t seen) is that he did something stupid going out to a public place where he could get caught. He has yet to apologize for the indiscretion itself. Failure to do so shows no remorse for breaking his vow, which, again, was one he took on his own accord. It wasn’t forced on him. So stand up and admit you did wrong. So you’re in love. I think people fall in and out of love all the time. I think married people find themselves falling in love with others from time to time. Only, some act on it, and others, the strong ones, do not. There is no sin in being tempted and in this case “love” is a temptation. But when a commitment is made, one must steer clear of this “love”. God IS the greater love. Maybe this is but a test to make you stronger Albert. This is your opportunity to teach from your own mistake. It is good that so many are willing to forgive, but forgiveness comes only with certain elements. One, the sinner must admit that he has sinned. Two, those sinned against must accept that there was a sin. Third, both sides must be willing to forgive… the sinner to forgive himself, and those hurt to forgive the sinner. There seems to be a little of all three of these missing in this case.

Albert doesn’t seem to want to admit that his sin is greater than just “hurting” his Church by being discovered.
Many don’t want to accept that what he did was wrong.
Others are not open to forgive yet.

Albert, come to your senses, man. This Church still needs you, but more important you need you. Open your heart to the forgiving power of Christ by admitting that you let him down and in turn open up to the idea that you are still greater than the sin you committed. With Christ all is possible. You can get through this. We will be here waiting.
To those who don’t want to accept that he erred. Accept the sin. He can’t be forgiven if the sin is not acknowledged. If your child does something wrong and you ignore it saying that he just didn’t know what he was doing, then he will accept it as OK and continue to do the same thing. It is an invitation to misbehave. This works at the adult level too. Turning our eyes away will only feed in to the idea that what happened is OK. It is not OK and until there is a change within the Church, we can’t look at it in any other way.
And to everybody else. Many have forgiven him already, and for the right reasons. THe rest should follow suit. This will begin a healing process which will heal all, and in the end will heal Albert himself. The lasting result is a CHURCH that is healing. We are hurting right now, and as a whole we need healing. Let this process begin. NOW!!

Enough already. Though I can probably continue on this topic for another 5 pages, I will stop because there are so many other issues that need attending too also. My parting thought is this. Forgiveness is necessary. Let us reach out and do so, before our brothers and sisters start looking elsewhere for healing. Christ founded the Church as a place to be with him. We shouldn’t have to go somewhere else to look for him. I won’t. And I pray that when I fall I will have the support I need to continue in the path of my Lord with the family he gave me in this Church.

This entry was posted on Saturday, May 23rd, 2009 at 10:05 am and is filed under Just thinking.... You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.