Chapter 63
Equal Value
Bobby had a real problem keeping quiet in class. Day after day Mr. Simmons had to ask him to be quiet. He’d ask him politely. He’d scream at him. He’d threaten to call home. He’d threaten him with detention. Nothing he did would dissuade the young boy.Â
One day Bobby entered class and did not stop speaking for more than 15 minutes. After asking him to shut his mouth a few more times Mr. Simmons decided to do something extreme.
“Bobby, if you will not be quiet, then I’ll have to give you an assignment. Something that will make you think twice about speaking in my class. You are to write a 10,000 word paper on how you are going to be quiet. It is due tomorrow and it is worth 3 test grades. Failure to turn it in means that you will fail the quarter, the semester, the year!!!”
Ten thousand words? Mr. Simmons must be crazy, thought Bobby. He stayed quiet while Mr. Simmons taughts for a few minutes, then his demeanor changed and he went back to normal. Mr. Simmons frowned towards Bobby. “All I know is that your assignment better be done by tomorrow,” sneered Mr. Simmons. Bobby just smiled on him and went about his business until the end of class. When the school day finished, Bobby headed home to do his assignment. He found what he needed and got to work. Fifteen minutes later, he was done. “I hope this will do.”
The next day Bobby arrived in Mr. Simmons class and started talking as usual. Mr. Simmons looked to Bobby and asked, “Do you have something for me, son?” “I sure do,” replied Bobby, and he took out a folder and handed it to Mr. Simmons.
Mr. Simmons opened the folder and saw the cover page titled, “How I Can Keep Quiet”. He looked inside ready to strt skimming the essay and was astonished to find a number of photos of Bobby in different poses. In one photo he had his mouth stuffed with food. In a second one, he had his head dunked under water. In a third he had duct tape on his mouth. Mr. Simmons kept turning pages until he realized that Bobby didn’t write a single word. In fact, he had only pasted, and carelessly at that, ten pictures in the packet he turned in.
“What is this Bobby? I said I wanted 10,000 words, and you didn’t write a single one! Is this some sort of a joke?”
“No sir,” said Bobby, “I just gave you something of equal value, that’s all.”
Mr Simmons looked at him incredulously, “Equal Value?!?!?”Â
“Yes sir,” said Bobby, and then he began to philosophize. “Remember how in math class you told us that ten $10 bills is of equal value to a $100 bill and to a $100 check because 10 times $10 is $100?” Mr. Simmons nodded, not quite sure where Bobby was going with this. ”Well, I gave you ten pictures showing you how I can be quiet, and you know, ’A picture’s worth 1000 words!’ Do the math, Mr. Simmons!”
THE END