Let’s go… Slaho!

I know, I know. It’s been a while. Look, people being a father of 4 ain’t easy. That’s right, FOUR! And one of them is a six month old, whom I have to give the midnight feeding to in a matter of minutes, so I gotta write this F A S T. So, I’ve decided to start observing again. You knew that it was only a matter of time. Well, the time has come, and so has this very keen observation.
Picture this. You drive to the supermarket. You get out of your car. You walk all the way into the store, go get a cart, and to your surprise, YOU DON’T FIND ANY. You know it has happened to you. It’s happened to all of us. But, wait let’s rewind, and revisit your arrival to the supermarket. You drive into the parking lot, you prepare to park. You narrowly avoid hitting a shopping cart that someone left right by your parking space as you park. You get out of the car. You pass a poor soul who has been asked to pick up ALL the shopping carts left in the parking lot. He currently has amassed a row of about 37 carts all attached and is preparing to maneuver them towards the store. You pass but 5 feet from the guy, and feel soooooo sorry for him that he has such a menial job. As you continue to walk towards the entrance you see someone leaving an empty cart behind another car and you think how pissed you’d be if someone would leave a cart behind YOUR car. You pass by the handicap parking spot and you notice that the poor person who parked there can’t get out of her car because people have left a collection of carts adjacent to that spot. “How insensitive!”, you think. You take another 20 steps and you’re at the door. You walk inside and you realize there are no carts inside the market. Where are the carts? I can’t believe that I walked all the way over here to find no carts. Now, I have to go looking for one!
HELLO!!!!
Apparently people have issues with taking carts found in the parking lot. I continually see people walking by cart after cart in the parking lot only to find a cartless store, and their reactions are usually priceless. What are the carts outside not good enough. Do they have like extra cooties? Do they think that the carts inside have been disinfected or something? Maybe it’s just too much effort to push an empty cart ON WHEELS all the way into the store. I’m sorry it just makes no sense to me.
Sometimes I see people get all upset because they do find a cart inside and it’s broken! The wheels don’t all touch the floor, or they get stuck as you push the cart. Then the sighing and the egg frying begins. You know, maybe those carts were outside because they were good enough to be used. What do you think, just maybe?
I for one always grab the first cart I can find after getting out of my car. I’ve noticed people staring at me though as if I’ve committed some great crime, or as if I’ve done something taboo. “Look at that poor guy. He doesn’t understand… we don’t do things that way here. Tssk, tssk.” Hey, maybe just feel that they are denying that poor kid who’s collecting carts an opportunity to do his job. “Dude, put the cart back, you want that poor, ugly and acne-scarred kid, to get fired? Isn’t his life hell enough already?”
The reality is that I find it ridiculous that people can’t just do what obviously makes sense. But, then again, I believe that’s not in our nature as humans. I’ll save it for my next Life Occurrence to get into what I mean by that. Unfortunately now I gotta go feed my 6 month old. I’m going to go now to the fridge and take out the formula so that I can prepare his bottle. Of course if I find a bottle and some formula on the way to the fridge, I’m just gonna grab it and use that! I wouldn’t want to get to the fridge and find that all the formula was gone and that I passed by an available one, now would I!

Why do I seem so excited about the fact that it’s January? Well, for some reason or another when January comes around, I get inspired to begin writing.  At least that’s the way it has appeared each of the last two years.  Every year, I post a lot of stuff in January(and even more in February), and then as the year presses on my posts start to dwindle.  They dwindle to the point that come July it seems that I’m either tired of writing or my ideas have dried up (I’ll let you choose the excuse for me… no need to thank me for my generosity)  In fact, I’ve never posted anything in August… EVER!!! (Unless you include the lame attempt at a post this past August where my post was that I posted the post itself.  Pathetic, truly pathetic)

So, here I am again writing in January.  Maybe I can get myself going again and start getting my creative juices flowing (should I add some sort of a footnote quoting Rob here, or will anybody turn me in for plagiarism if I don’t… well I forgot my AMA handbook so I don’t remember the procedure, therefore, I’ll take my chances)

What gets me is this.  Why do I come back to life every January?  Is it a resolution thing?  Is it that I’m rested from the Christmas break?  Am I more inspired by events that occus this time of year?  God only knows, but let me take advantage and ride this wave!!! (No pun intended, seeing as I’m on the net, and if you found this you were probably “surfing”.  If you don’t get it, that’s OK, this is a reach)

Enough of the parentheses!!  Let’s start writing!  A new year!  New ideas!  New book contracts and signings! New money just pouring in!!!  Man, I’m excited!  Who I’m currently talking about I don’t know, but it’s got me PUMPED!!!

Hope to see some people coming in and responding to my posts.  Let’s see how 2008 treats us all.