Suspense really kills me. It is for this reason that i don’t like slow moving movies.  I need something to be going on. The suspense is Ok as long as I have time to think about what’s going to happen, and then I get to see a solution by the time I see the result. What I can’t stand is a longstanding cliffhanger. I was watching that new show “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?” and decided never to watch it again because they just take too long to get to the punchline. No one should have to wait five minutes to see if a moron can tell how many sides a trapezoid has. (It has four, by the way) If he doesn’t know, kick his rear end out of the show and bring in the next guy. I’ll talk more about this inane show in another rant. My point is having to wait for a result unnecessarily kills me.
So this brings me to “HEROES”, the new show on NBC about normal people with extraordinary powers. Right around December I got into this show. It is actually the only show that I find myself anticipating on a weekly basis. I haven’t looked forward to seeing the next episode of a show like this since I can remember, maybe ever. Mondays have always sucked for me, but I finally found a reason to get through it and it was to plop down in front of the couch and see what was going to happen next. The only problem with the show… every episode is “to be continued…”. Every week the suspense kills me. What is going to happen next? I have to wait a whole week to find out. Ughhh!
And then came the last episode. A lot happened in a small amount of time. It left everything up in the air. Now I have no idea where this thing is going. Then when the show ended, an announcement came out… “Heroes will return April 23rd.” APRIL 23rd? That’s SEVEN WEEKS from now! I have to wait 7 WEEKS to just to figure out what’s going on? THEY”RE KILLING ME! Now what am I going to do on Monday nights? Forget that. I can manage. How will I live with the frickin’ suspense? I can’t stand it! Now I know why people don’t watch shows now, and wait to buy the season on DVD. It kills the suspense. They say that patience is a virtue. Well, right now I’m not feeling very virtuous. I’m actually very tense. And I don’t like it.Â
It’s like when someone tells you, “Hey, I gotta tell you something.” And then they say, “You know what? Forget about it.” WHAT? I don’t think so. You were going to tell me something. Now you’re NOT going to tell me? No, no, no. Now I have to know. I will not be able to sleep just wondering about the information I was denied. Lie if you have to, but kill the suspense. If you didn’t want me to know, you should have never brought it up.
So, now here I am. I’m just going to have to live with myself and my thoughts. My ideas about what could happen in the show are closed. Now I just have to wait for the show to start up again to see if my guesses were right. I’ll have to wait seven weeks. SEVEN LONG WEEKS. Uggh!