Let’s go… Slaho!

CHAPTER 34
A Frosh’s Nightmare
Kris woke up.
“Do you have an answer for me, Mr. Harris?”
Kris wiped away the drool that had begun to crust up on his face and looked up at his teacher, Mr. O’Kindley. “Huh?”
“Can you tell me the answer to this problem?” asked Mr. O’Kindley.
Kris looked at the board at what appeared to be a bunch of gibberish as far as he could tell. He had no clue what was going on.
“What is that?” Kris asked incredulously.
“Calculus, my boy, calculus!” was the response.
“But I’m in Algebra I, Mr. O.”
“You are,” replied Mr. O’Kindley, “but they’re in Calculus.” Kris’ teacher pointed to the desks behind him at the seniors that were suddenly all staring at him, laughing to themselves, and pointing at the poor freshman.
“Looooser!” he heard one say.
“What a dork!” he heard from someone else.
Kris looked at his watch. He had slept past the end of the last period and 15 minutes into this one. If he had any dignity left, he was planning on saving it. He slowly got up from his desk, picked up his bag and his books, gave a big smile to his teacher, then to the seniors who were enjoying themselves all too much. He then slowly exited.
Kris vowed that day he would never fall asleep in class again.
EVER.
THE END

EARLY EXPECTATIONS 

We only just met a short time ago 

You’re telling me now that you love me so 

You can’t seem to believe that I don’t feel the same 

That I’m not ready to jump in to love’s little game 

But I say that love has to take time 

It may not be long before I do call you mine 

But you can’t expect me to pretend what I feel 

Is really true love until I know that it’s real 

You can’t expect a bat to go and take flight 

When it’s still six hours away from the night 

You can’t expect a bear to hibernate 

When it still is September twenty-eight 

The time will come, I promise it will 

You’ll just have to wait to see until 

The proper time for us finally arrives 

And our love will then hit overdrive 

In the meantime we’ll just see and wait 

There’s no need to rush something so great 

When a wine is aged is when it tastes best 

If we bide our time true love will pass the test 

You can’t expect a vulture to feed on the prey 

Until the last lion finally walks away 

You can’t expect a baby to laugh and not cry 

Until he is fed and his diaper is dry. 

Patience is a virtue, or so it’s been said 

Allow my feelings to move to my heart from my head 

Don’t expect me to act before I’m ready to do so 

And my love may go beyond what I think it can grow. 

CHAPTER 33
ANOTHER MORNING

Lawrence pushed the snooze button one last time. This time he didn’t wait for it to ring in another nine minutes. He dragged himself out of bed.

He went to the bathroom, took his pajamas, put them in the dirty hamper, and took a nice hot shower.

He came out of the shower and brushed his teeth.

He walked out of the bathroom and put on the clothes he had laid out the night before.

He started by putting on his pants, then his shirt. He put on his tie, he put on his left sock, then his right one. He put on his right shoe, then his left one.

He waltzed into the kitchen and began to make his breakfast… scrambled egg whites and whole wheat waffles.

He took out cold cuts and a loaf of bread and proceeded to make sandwiches for himself and for the kids for lunch. Today it would be cracked pepper mill turkey sandwiches. He took out a juice box for each of the kids and placed it in each lunchbox, along with the sandwiches. He then added a banana to each child’s lunch.

By this time, his breakfast was ready. But before he would start eating it, he went to wake up the kids.

He entered his daughter’s room and woke her up. She complained a bit then began dressing herself though still half asleep. He then enetered the boys’ room and did the same. They both stared at him for a second then tossed their heads back on their respective pillows and went back to sleep. They really weren’t his problem, he figured. They are his wife’s responsibility anyways and she was still snoozing.

Lawrence went back to the kitchen and ate his food standing up, leaning against the counter by the kitchen sink.

He grabbed his bag and put it by the door, then commanded his daughter to hurry up because he was going to be late.

He finally set his sights back on his room where he would wake up his wife and say good bye so he could get going, on his way to work.

He leaned over and gave his wife a kiss. “Wake up, honey.”

Karen peered her eyes open and asked, “Where are you going?”

“I’m off to work. It’s already 7:15 am. You should get up or you’ll be late.”

Karen leaned her head back on the pillow, closed her eyes and mumbled, “Why are you going to work if it’s Saturday?”

And so it was.

Lawrence went to the family room and turned on the TV. He put on the Disney Channel and sat his daughter on the couch asking her to watch quietly. She of course didn’t complain, unfazed by the fact she was fully dressed for school.

He went into the kitchen and put the kids’ lunches in the refrigerator.

He passed by the boys’ room to make sure they were still asleep.

He walked into the room.

He removed his right shoe, then the left one. He removed his left sock, then his right one. He took off his tie, then his shirt, then his pants. He placed them where he had laid them out the night before. He walked into the bathroom and brushed his teeth. He then grabbed his pajamas from the dirty hamper and put them back on.

He eased into bed and forced himself back to sleep.

Saturday… what was he thinking?

THE END

March 3rd, 2006. We are now into the 3rd day of lent. That means today is Friday. That means no meat. That means that my daughter is complaining because she can’t get through the day without eating meat. Of course if I told her she can have candy in its place, I’m sure she could sacrifice for today. But that would be too easy, wouldn’t it. And easy wouldn’t be lenten. 

I started with the date because to me it’s significant that it took until now for me to realize something that may not be significant to anybody else. And that is that the season that just began is called “LENT”. “You just realized that”, you may wonder. It wasn’t that it is called lent, but that it is called lent that struck me. HUH? 

Look, I was walking up to get my ashes on Wednesday when I stopped to listen to the ash imprinter guy who was saying, “from ashes you came, and to ashes you will return”. The first thing I thought was that I like it better when they say to repent and to hear the Good News. It just seems to have a more positive spin on things, you know? But then as I actually was getting my ashes it dawned on me. If I came from ashes and to ashes I’ll return, then what has been given me was for only a short time, and then it needs to be returned. Work with me here. In other words, I’m technically only borrowing it. Hold on, I’m getting there. 

(Cue the drumroll) So what I am saying is that all I have was LENT to me. By none other than God. Whoa! I’d never thought of it like that before. Things seemed to make a little more sense to me all of a sudden. Here we are remembering that what we have is not ours. We take 40 days to recall that our lives are on loan, and the truth is that when we borrow something, we should always return it in as good or in better conditions than before to show the person who gave us the loan that we appreciate the help and/or the opportunity they gave us. 

Well, isn’t that what we do in lent? We give something up or sacrifice something to help us “clean up” our acts for our Lord. We go out into the desert, figuratively, for 40 days, just as Jesus did 2000 years ago to prepare ourselves for whatever our Father has in store for us. And we try extra hard to curb the temptations that we normally give into to try to develop a greater inner discipline. This is all so that when it’s time for our personal models to be recalled, they will still be in good condition, hopefully in even better condition than when it was given to us. Hopefully at that point we will have earned a greater reward than the “loan”. It’s like a trial run. If we work well with was we borrowed then maybe we will get a better reward in the end. I guess it’s like a child that shows responsibility in chores and is rewarded with a pet because he/she has shown that they could handle the responsibility. Eternal life is our puppy that we are taking care of our loans for. Sorry for oversimplifying it, but sometimes things need to be put into simpler terms so that they could be understood or better even, made to look more attractive (not that eternal life with our Lord needs to be upplayed). 

Anyway, I now have a task at hand. Tidy up my loan. I could do that through the sacrament of reconciliation, going to mass an extra day of the week, or just adopting something new at home like a rosary night. I can also take better care of my body by doing some exercise and quitting some of the junk food. This is like detailing your car when you go get it washed. I can also read some to clean up my mind from all the stimuli that wear it down… let my imagination go to work, which leads me to this. I must continue to write (or ramble) so that I can emulate God by creating something. I can use the tools he gave me to create something great for others as he created a great world for me to live and love in. 

The good news is that I’m on the right track to doing these things, but if I don’t get on the ball, this loaner to get pretty darn dirty again. 

So, let’s make LENT special this year. Let’s show the Boss that we can take care of what he has left for us to take care of. Then as He tells us in the Gospels (and I’m paraphrasing here), if you show that you can handle small tasks here, you will be put in charge of greater tasks, and you will be rewarded proportionally to what you have done. 

Did I sound like a math teacher there? Well, I’m off. I have stuff to do before I bacome dust again. Little i can do while I’m just blowing the wind later.

OK, OK, my mind has been wandering a lot lately. So, here’s another observation of mine. 

STATISTICS DON’T LIE. 

You heard it here from the mathematician. They don’t lie. The problem is people don’t know how to analyze them. People see them as universal truths whereas they are only the truths of a small population or sample tested on. Still, I find them fascinating. Especially when I see or read stuff like, “4 out of 5 dentists recommend…” Most people are like, “How can they justify saying that?” Simple, they only polled five guys… the right five guys, to get the result they wanted. Then why not poll five guys that they’d know would all accept whatever was being tested? Because nobody would believe those results, and the information would seem fake and “doctored”. Good thinking, huh? 

I would love to meet those five dentists and see what toothpaste or what dental floss they are using. That would tell me a little bit more about the results. More interesting would be to find the 85% of doctors that believe a particular drug works better than another. How randomly were those guys chosen. Better yet, I’d like to see who their pharmaceutical reps are, and how well they push their drug. 

Or how about those 3 out of 4 people who test tasted diet coke and diet pepsi and discovered that diet pepsi tasted better. The coke lovers must have been at the other side of the mall where there 5 out of 6 thought that diet coke tasted better. 

Speaking of telling the truth, statistics say that 85% of those who drank Coca Cola with traces of cocaine in it are currently deceased. The fact that there hasn’t been traces of cocaine in Coke for decades probably has something to do with it, but wouldn’t this be a great argument to explaining to people that cocaine is deadly? 

According to a poll of people who have read my L.O.’s, they are a huge success. Three out of three people who read them like them. I should just say that 100% of my readers are satisfied with my work. I wouldn’t be lying. But I guess you’d have to read a little bit into the truth. By the way, if you read this and don’t like it don’t reply. I’d like to keep my track record. Thanks!

CHAPTER 32
ENCOUNTER 47
Allen just stood there in the rain. Car after car passed by and the drivers would just stare at him as he’d stare back. He was soaked from head to toe, down to the last hair in his entire body. He was standing in front of the headlights of his car that was just sitting, engine on, on the emergency lane in the highway. He never motioned anybody, didn’t try to flag anybody down. He would just stare down the drivers that would pass by as they stared at him.
The minutes passed, and they turned into hours. He noticed that a couple of police officers passed by without stopping. The rain must really be falling hard he thought. No matter, he didn’t flinch.
At times the rain would die down a little. Then it would return to a fullfledged downpour. Allen was shivering so hard you’d swear his teeth would start falling out any second. But he didn’t move. He never attempted to walk away from his car down the exit ramp less than a fourth of a mile away and into the shopping center waiting just east of the exit. Allen just stood. And stared.
Then suddenly it happened. A car slowed down as it passed. It pulled over some 200 feet in front of Allen and began to drive slowly in reverse in the emergency lane until it was less than 10 feet from him. A window creaked open and a voice could be heard even though Allen couldn’t make out the words. Allen looked towards the drivers seat from the rear of the car, and shook his head while he pointed to his ear. He mouthed out “I can’t hear you”, though he was sure that there was no way the driver could read his lips through the rear car window. A moment passed.
Then the door opened. A very attractive young woman steps out of the car wearing hiphuggers and a shirt that contoured her body and showed most of her well toned abs. Allen wasn’t sure where she had come from, but he surely liked what he saw. No matter, who she was or what she wore were not important.
“Do you need a ride?” the girl asked. Allen noticed how the rain made her look extremely sensual, and hesitated before answering.
“No,” he said, “but thanks.”
“Are you sure? I mean, you’re soaking wet. Is your car broken or something?”
Allenhad already composed himself and his answer came quickly. “No there’s nothing wrong with my car. I’m just waiting for somebody?”
“Here? Couldn’t you think of a better place to meet up with somebody, especially on a day like today? It is kind of dangerous here. Farnkly, I’m freaking out here with the low visibility and the cars driving dangerously fast in this weather. Come on, I’ll give you a ride.”
Allen smiled. “No, I’m fine thanks. I really appreciate you stopping, but it won’t be necessary. You’re right, it’s dangerous here. You should go before a car swerves and hits you or your car. Thanks again.”
The young woman looks at him incredulously, gives him a confused smile, then turns back towards her car. Just then, Allen adds, “God bless you!”
She turns to look at him as she’s about to enter the car and speaks up loud enough for him to hear her, “Thanks, but I don’t believe in God.”
“Maybe not, but you still heard him when he asked you to stop for me.” was Allen’s reply, “Again, God bless you.” Through the rain he offered her a big toothy smile.
The young woman slowly entered the car while looking at Allen. The rain had subsided a bit and he could see her well enough to recognize that she didn’t know what to make of the situation. She finally closed the door behind her and eased away.
Allen watched the car go out of sight. He then turned around walked to his car and got in. He took out a pad of paper with some writing on it, looked at his watch and jotted down the time. “Two hours and 46 minutes,” he murmurred to himself. “I never had waited so long before. Man, God, you must have had a plan for her. Usually you send somebody in less than 30 minutes.”
The response came, “She was busy. But she’s the one that needed to hear that today, so I waited for her. You did good.”
“Thanks, but next time send me at a better time, OK? You know, closer to encounter time. At least, we know. There still is hope in this world. There will always be someone who cares. I’m going home now. But you knew that already, didn’t you?
“That I did, my son, that I did, just as I know that there will always be hope in the world, thanks to people like you who search for it.”
“And people like her who offer it,” was Allen’s reply. He stopped writing in his journal. He closed the book as he glanced at his heading for the day… Encounter 47.
“47 for 47… there is always hope,” he whispered to himself, then began his short drive home. “There is always hope.”
THE END